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How To Get STARTED with Couples Therapy

Maybe it's been years of "the same argument" between you and your partner(s)...

Or perhaps you've been curious about how you can increase your connection and "bring back some of the spark", after years of "just being roommates"...

Maybe there has been a recent life change such as a move, death, or the birth of a child, and you are finding yourself feeling overwhelmed, misunderstood, and disconnected...

Maybe you are are considering cohabitation or marriage, and want some guidance for you and your partner in identifying and having conversations that will support a strong relational foundation....

Maybe there has been a history of betrayal, addiction, trauma, mental health challenges, family of origin issues, and/or other barriers you have found to creating the type of relationship you desire- and are hoping to get back on track and heal wounds from the past...

People seek couples therapy for all sorts of reasons, so... whatever brings you to this work, WELCOME! Glad you made it.

Step 1: Identify a therapist you want to work with

You might want to begin by researching therapists in your area (you've found me, congrats!) using a web-search tool (Google), therapy directory (e.g. Psychology Today), or by calling the member services number on the back of your insurance card to find a list of in network providers in your area. Friends or family who have had positive therapy experiences in the past might also be a resource in providing the name/contact info for someone they have previously worked with.

Step 2: Contact and set up an initial meeting

You found someone (or a few people who you like), and who you think might meet you and your partner's needs for couples therapy (they specialize in couples therapy, their interests align with yours, you like the look of their website/bio)... it's time to reach out!

Email is a great first step, and provides you with an opportunity to share what you are looking for and your current schedule availability. Of course, this information can also be communicated via phone or secure message on a website.

Let your potential couples therapist know what you are looking for when you reach out (e.g. "couples therapy, support with infidelity") if you are planning on using your insurance (e.g. "I'd like to use my Pacific Source benefits"), and your availability (e.g. "my partner and I are available to meet on Tuesdays and Thursdays between 2-5pm").

To contact me, please email:

Use this link to schedule online

Or call: 503-926-9567

Step 3: Prepare for the meeting

Chat with your partner about your goals for the consult or initial session (depending on what you identify to be most helpful), identifying if there are any things that you want to make sure you share in the first meeting, and any specific supports you may want to insure are in place (e.g. "we want to make sure that our couples therapist is confident working with clients who experience ADHD symptoms and accepts Pacific Source Insurance").

If possible, try to be in the same room as your partner during the initial meeting/consult. Do some testing of your audio/video prior to the meeting starting, to support clarity on the call. Make sure you know where you are going (and how long it will take to get there). if you are headed to an office or secondary location for the meeting.

Step 4: Meet

Try to remain present during this meeting. Ask yourself, "Is this someone I could see myself working with?"; "Do I feel that this person can create a safe space for vulnerability and healing"; "Do their approaches/techniques align with what I am looking for?". Ask all the questions, even the ones that might feel slightly scary or embarrassing (you can do it!)

Step 5: Determine next steps

After you have met with someone, feel free to take some time to assess if this person feels like a fit for you and your relational needs. Talk with your partner about your thoughts. Follow up, if there are additional questions you might have, or things that come to mind after the consult (this is not uncommon!).

Once you have determined who you would like to work with schedule an appointment to get started!

To schedule with me:

Use this link to schedule online 

Or call: 503-926-9567

Remember, doing new things can feel scary/challenging, so please be gentle with yourself and your partner as you embark on this journey. It's normal to feel anxious or even overwhelmed at the idea of beginning couples therapy, hopefully this guide will help give you an idea of what you can expect as you are searching for and identifying a therapist to work with.

Please feel free to reach out if you have any questions or are interested in setting up an appointment!

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